About six weeks ago, I invited myself to visit MMB and JR. If I had spent one more minute here without knowing I had an upcoming escape planned, I would have started a long slow crumble until nothing was left of me but my fabulous hair.
What I didn’t know at the time was that I was beginning to answer some questions – questions I wasn’t even aware I was asking. Things like: Why am I here? Not here on the planet, but here in this particular spot on the planet. Why am I in this job? What do I really want to do with the next 25-30 years and where would I be most happy doing it?
The last few years have brought some interesting changes. I blindly accepted a job at the company I’m still with and it happened to be perfect timing with other events in my life. I accidentally found this duplex while looking at another one. I took a trip with my brother and two really good friends, something I had never even considered previously, and it was perfect. I decided to attend a writing workshop pretty much on a whim. I decided to ‘assist’ another department, ended up actually doing the job instead of assisting and loved it. While I was in Washington, I spontaneously took a walk in a strange city (very very unlike me). It wasn’t a long walk, but it was something I would not have done at all just a few short years ago. I am surprising myself on a regular basis these days.
So I went to see my siblings on a whim … and it was perfect. They both kept mentioning how cool it would be if I stayed and I kept saying I wasn’t going to leave … until my flight got cancelled and I had to stay an extra day and then the next flight was delayed twice. It seemed like signs from the universe.
This is VERY close to where they live. Not quite walking distance for me, but probably within reach for anyone else. That close.
I got back to work Wednesday and started thinking about … everything. I wanted to go back to the department I was helping but it seems as though that isn’t going to happen, for a number of reasons. I don’t enjoy my job. I enjoy the benefits and I enjoy the paychecks but the job itself is boring and restrictive.
I did a mini job-hunt the other day. It is not inconceivable that I could find a similar job that pays within the range I’m used to. I did a mini apartment hunt and that was discouraging. I could get a studio there for what I pay for 2 bedrooms here. But … I found this place in a very serendipitous manner, so there’s no reason it couldn’t happen again.
My final decision was this: I am putting it out to the universe that I am open and willing to relocate. If it falls in my lap, like this job and this apartment did, then I’ll do it. I’m past the point where I feel the need to blow up my entire life in order to make a change. If it comes up and it makes sense and it’s fairly easy, I’m on board. I think that’s all I really need.