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About six weeks ago, I invited myself to visit MMB and JR. If I had spent one more minute here without knowing I had an upcoming escape planned, I would have started a long slow crumble until nothing was left of me but my fabulous hair.

What I didn’t know at the time was that I was beginning to answer some questions – questions I wasn’t even aware I was asking. Things like: Why am I here? Not here on the planet, but here in this particular spot on the planet. Why am I in this job? What do I really want to do with the next 25-30 years and where would I be most happy doing it?

The last few years have brought some interesting changes. I blindly accepted a job at the company I’m still with and it happened to be perfect timing with other events in my life. I accidentally found this duplex while looking at another one. I took a trip with my brother and two really good friends, something I had never even considered previously, and it was perfect. I decided to attend a writing workshop pretty much on a whim. I decided to ‘assist’ another department, ended up actually doing the job instead of assisting and loved it.  While I was in Washington, I spontaneously took a walk in a strange city (very very unlike me). It wasn’t a long walk, but it was something I would not have done at all just a few short years ago.  I am surprising myself on a regular basis these days.

So I went to see my siblings on a whim … and it was perfect. They both kept mentioning how cool it would be if I stayed and I kept saying I wasn’t going to leave … until my flight got cancelled and I had to stay an extra day and then the next flight was delayed twice. It seemed like signs from the universe.

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This is VERY close to where they live. Not quite walking distance for me, but probably within reach for anyone else. That close.

I got back to work Wednesday and started thinking about … everything. I wanted to go back to the department I was helping but it seems as though that isn’t going to happen, for a number of reasons. I don’t enjoy my job. I enjoy the benefits and I enjoy the paychecks but the job itself is boring and restrictive.

I did a mini job-hunt the other day. It is not inconceivable that I could find a similar job that pays within the range I’m used to. I did a mini apartment hunt and that was discouraging. I could get a studio there for what I pay for 2 bedrooms here. But … I found this place in a very serendipitous manner, so there’s no reason it couldn’t happen again.

My final decision was this:  I am putting it out to the universe that I am open and willing to relocate. If it falls in my lap, like this job and this apartment did, then I’ll do it. I’m past the point where I feel the need to blow up my entire life in order to make a change. If it comes up and it makes sense and it’s fairly easy, I’m on board. I think that’s all I really need.

 

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