Tags

, , , , ,

Dallas – 2012 is my new guilty pleasure. Back in the 80’s, Dallas was the hottest show on television. Larry Hagman, as JR Ewing, was delightfully evil. I got bored (or got a life) and stopped watching long before the show ended, but when I heard they were bringing it back, I had to tune in. This time the show focuses on the sons of JR and his brother Bobby (Patrick Duffy). 

I watched the first episode and was immediately hooked again. John Ross (JR’s son) is just as manipulative as JR and JR is still delightfully evil. He – Larry Hagman – is also 80 years old. That’s going to be important in a minute.

I tend to remember numbers. I can’t do much with them, but I remember them. I’m likely to remember your birthday (unless you’re Leslie. Actually, I remembered her birthday, I just remembered it wrong for 30 years). You probably shouldn’t tell me your social security number because I probably won’t forget it. I notice details that other people sometimes miss. And it drives me nuts because one of the details I tend to notice is timelines.

I notice when grandmothers die at age 65 when they should have been 86. And it. just. pisses. me. off.

You don’t even have to know the back story to know that JR is 80. In the 2012 revisit to the series, he was in a nursing home. His son, John Ross, is supposed to be 33. Okay, so JR was an older dad. I can live with that. I can even live with the fact that Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) is supposed to be 65, because the actress is 71 now. Bobby Ewing, the youngest brother is supposed to be 60, born in 1952. This website says JR is 70 but this one says he is 76. IT’S ALL WRONG and Miss Ellie was a whore.

You know why?

Because the matriarch, Miss Ellie, supposedly died in 2001. In the last episode, Bobby went to her grave to “talk” to her about JR and the ranch. He rides his horse across the ranch to the little private cemetery. He walks up to the grave and the shot switches to the headstone and that’s where I lost my fucking mind. Eleanor Southworth Ewing 1936 –    the second date was cut off by a tree, but that’s all I needed to see. 1936? SERIOUSLY? Does NO ONE know how to research anymore? Did NONE of the new series writer’s even bother to check wikipedia??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

JR is 5 years older/younger than his mother? GAH!! According to wikipedia (which never lies) Miss Ellie was born in 1915. That’s about right, no matter how old they decided to make JR. If he’s 80, she was 16. If he’s 75, she was 21. If he’s only 70 (which is a stretch), he was born when she was 26.

It was probably some prop person’s mistake and I’m probably the only one who noticed it, but still … it’s just sloppy and someone should be fired for it. And shot. And then tossed off a really tall building.

As a side note, I truly hated Miss Ellie because I thought Barbara Bel Geddes was a shitty actress. Every time that woman opened her mouth, she sighed. She would heave a sigh just to say hello. MoC told me it was just the character and that it wasn’t a personal trait but I didn’t believe her. So she made me watch Vertigo and I realized it was true. Barbara Bel Geddes was not a chronic sigher or a shitty actress.

But Miss Ellie was still a whore.

Advertisements