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My mother could get almost anyone to do almost anything. She didn’t care if you thought she was stupid or helpless, as long as she got the outcome she was after. Me? Not so much. I have gotten better at it as I’ve gotten older, but it is difficult for me to let people think I am dumb and/or helpless.

I took a couple days off to do a bunch of stuff for the move. One of them was to meet the gas guy so he could turn the gas on so I can have a hot shower. He told me he couldn’t turn the gas on because the room with the furnace and hot water heater only had one vent – into the garage. He told me I needed to have two vents into the main basement. What? So I channeled MoC. I told him I didn’t know what to do, that my landlord was out of town (true) and that I was moving in over the weekend (also true). Then I just looked at him like he was a hero. A superhero. I may or may not have looked like I was about to cry. Gas Company:0  Cap: 1

Then I went to the electric/water company to sign a waiver so that I wouldn’t have to be there on Friday when they turned the water on. The woman told me I was scheduled for Monday. Oh, no, that will not do. Now the “Oh my God, you’re a hero” look doesn’t work on women unless they are on my team. What works on women is solidarity and making them feel in control and competent. So I said, “I really can’t wait until Monday, I’m moving Saturday and I have pets.” And she said they were closed on Saturday. So I said, “Is there any way you can make this happen?” And so she found a way. Winner.

As it turned out, by Saturday, when I had to call the water company again because the water was not on, I really was near tears. So a guy came out and told me that the water was turned on at the meter and … oh, no. Oh, yes, yes I really can be that dumb, which is why I don’t always have to play dumb.  He found the main shut off valve in the basement and twisted the little knob for me. *sigh* But he got one of my “Oh my God, you’re a superhero” looks, so it was definitely worth his time.

And that concludes the first part of my move. Part 2 includes broken toes, vicious cat attacks, losing my pants, a broken replica of The Thinker and the cable connection fiasco where even my helpless look (which I had perfected by that time) was unable to save me.