I love these walls. I love the high ceilings and the deck off my front door and the balcony off my bedroom. I love the huge living room and the little dining nook off the kitchen. I love the memories I’ve made here. I still remember opening the door for the very first time, walking in and seeing all this space and thinking “Wow!” and looking at MoC and seeing the “Wow!” on her face, too.
This is where I came in 2006, when the door was finally closed on the awful 2005. This was my new start and it was amazing and wonderful and everything I wanted it to be. This is where I watched fireworks displays from my balcony on the 4th of July. I sat on my deck and listened to local bands during the Santa-Cali-Gon festival. Here, in this place, is where I finally found balance in my life and peace in my heart.
I signed my new lease yesterday and put down the security deposit. I’ve made arrangements with the movers and my friends volunteered (yes, volunteered) to help me unpack and get settled in my new place.
When I look back on everything that has happened in the last two years – finding love, death, school projects I thought would make me crazy, losing love, finding this job with great benefits and flexible hours, reuniting with friends, earning my BS, and that last year with MoC – I realize that I am at another fork in the road. It’s time to move. It’s time to move on.
Mostly though, I just feel that it’s okay.
It’s okay that I won’t live here anymore.