Leslie: Spill it.
Me: I don’t have breakfast and tell.
Me: Seems I’ve heard that before …
Yesterday I noticed my television was still on ESPN. I was watching a basketball game so I could taunt breakfast girl and then I forgot to change the channel. So I picked up the remote … nothing. Volume worked, but I couldn’t change the channel. I punched in a number instead of using the scroll key. Nada. I tried to change the channel on the box. No deal.
You can imagine how thrilled I was to have to call the cable company. The same cable company that took three years to find a kinked cable in the wall that was causing me outages every two to three months. The same cable company that punched a wicked hole in my wall that I still haven’t explained to the landlord.
Me: Hi. My television is stuck on ESPN and I don’t like sports that much.
Cable guy: Hahaha. Hang on a second and let me check the recommendated … what? Recommendated?? I’m sorry, I can’t believe I said that. I skipped breakfast this morning.
Me: As long as we aren’t conversating, I’m good.
Cable guy: Oh, I hate that too!!
Me: Wow. Seriously?
Cable guy: And the other thing I hate is when people pronounce the “t” in often.
Me: We should get married.
Cable guy: Um … I’m not doing that again. I’m divorced.
Me: Probably because your ex pronounced the “t” in ‘often’
Cable guy: She did!
And then he found the recommendated procedure and fixed my cable box.
Life is good.