Coworker: My granddaughter sneezed on me and I woke up Friday with a rash all over my face. So I called my daughter and she said she had to pick up my granddaughter from school. She gave me Fist* disease.
Coworker: Fist disease. I’m so fucking pissed.
Me: I think I’m going to have a fit.
Coworker: No, fist.
Another coworker: What?
First coworker: My granddaughter gave me Fist fucking disease!
Me: I’m walking away now.
*I think she meant Fifth Disease, but I wasn’t taking any chances. And the coworker has some kind of immune-deficiency which has obviously affected her brain as well as making her susceptible to whatever-the-hell she got from the granddaughter. I think Cartman lives.