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MoC was sleeping when I got there Sunday afternoon. I cranked up her oxygen and let her sleep. When I got her up for dinner, she was fine … well, fine-ish. We watched television for a while and then I helped her get into bed. And then I taped her oxygen line to her face.

What? Every time she touches it, it comes out of her nose. It was just two little pieces of masking tape on her cheekbones. It’s like you people think I’m a monster and taped her up like a mummy which totally didn’t happen because I didn’t think of it until just now.

The new caregiver was sick, so Donna filled in again. She called me about 8:30 Monday morning. I asked how MoC was doing.

Donna: Well, she just seems out of it. She’s weak as a kitten. I asked her if she wanted to get up and she said no. Then she said she wanted some coffee but she didn’t want to sit up to drink it. She’s just not tracking very well. I checked her oxygen and the number was low, and

Me: What?

Donna: and so I just sat talking to her for a minute and

Me: What was the number?

Donna: then I asked her if she thought she could eat a little something for breakfast. She said

Me: DONNA. WHAT WAS THE NUMBER? You can’t say the number is low and then not tell me what it is!!

Donna: Oh, sorry it was 88. So I’m just concerned because she’s not making much sense and

Me: Take her to the hospital. Now.

Donna: You want me to drive her?

Me: Oh. My. God. Call 911, I don’t care. But hang up and do it. I’m on my way.

So I spent 7 and a half hours in the emergency room.

Turns out her potassium level was outrageously high. And she’s dehydrated. It also turns out that the symptoms/results of high potassium are exactly the same as the results of not enough oxygen and too much carbon dioxide (emphysema) and exactly the same as brainfuckitis (stroke).

Would it be too much to ask that if she has to be sick, my mother could just have a little head cold? Is that too much? Seriously?

I don’t know whether to pray or curse or both.

I am still underwater.