We kidnapped MoC from the nursing home yesterday. I even left a ransom note:
WE HAVE YOUR FAVORITE PATIENT. WE DEMAND $122.50 IN SMALL UNMARKED BILLS.
(Dear FBI: It’s a joke ’cause she’s my mom and we just took her home. Jesus, do I have to explain everything? Is this why I can’t get a government job? Oh, wait …)
MoC is doing very well, probably a little better than she was when she came home the first time. She’s certainly just as feisty. Because I had to work yesterday, I told her to have lunch and then I’d nab her around 12:30. I told David the same thing.
Perfect plan, right? Except MoC never does what she’s told.
Me: You didn’t eat?
MoC: You said to skip lunch and we would go somewhere.
Me: No. I said eat lunch and we’d go somewhere for dinner.
MoC: That is not what you said. And they were serving ham.
Me: You don’t like the ham.
MoC: I would have eaten it because I’m hungry.
Me (looking at David): Will you help me here?
Me: Okay. You win. I’m sorry. Of course you’re right.
MoC: I thought you’d see it that way. After you gave it a little thought.
Me: I don’t know what I was thinking.
MoC (shaking her head): Neither do I.
Ha. I should have asked for a bigger ransom.