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Remember when I said I was out of coffee? That’s never good, but MoC saved the day and let me borrow some. You should thank her the next time you see her. She probably saved your life 🙂

We’ve been having some long discussions – discussions that I can’t really share here, except to say that we are revamping her care schedule. As part of the conversation, we were talking about cutting down on the hours she has someone with her during the day, but we nixed that – that’s when she needs the most help, from appointments to things like, you know, food.

MoC: I really need someone here during the day. I can’t cook anything. I can’t even pour my own coffee.

Me: I can’t pour my own coffee, either. Do you know why?

MoC (not missing a beat): Because you’re clumsy.

Heh.  I don’t know why I even try anymore.

In the interest of fairness, I should warn you that what comes after the jump is inane at best and stupid at worst. But I have an excuse. I ate a moron’s brains.

Work has been incredibly stressful lately. I’m just swamped. I walk in, sit down and don’t move for 8 hours. And I still can’t keep up.  There’s a work post coming up later – and it will have to be passworded, but you’ll enjoy it. And if I can figure out how to make a video on my camera, you’ll really like it. Trust me. Anyway, the pressure and stress is taking a bit of a toll on me. I’m still working overtime and there is no light at the end of that particular tunnel.

So I texted Leslie.

Me: Happy Monday

Leslie: She’s alive!

Me: Barely. Help. I’m drowning.

Leslie: Good thing I’m a water baby! I’m on my way.

Me: Bring beer!

Leslie: LOL

Me: I am so not kidding

Leslie: Sounds like beer will not suffice. Absolut!

Me: I was hoping you would say that. Gotta go, I’m dog-paddling like mad.


Me: Am I dead yet?

Leslie: Are you a zombie yet?

Me: How do I tell?

Leslie: It’s all in the eyes

Me: They’re glowing red & kind of empty looking

Leslie: Oh, fuck.

Me: What’s that mean?? I’m hungry. I kind of want brains … weird. Can you come over?

Leslie: I’m just an appetizer. Call Cheryl.

Me: She’s stupid. You’re way midsummer. WTF? Way BRAINIER (stupid phone). Go to bed. Pay no attention to the noises outside your window … muwahahahahahaha

(this morning)

Me: Why is everyone running away from me? And why are some of the guys stalking me with machetes?

Leslie: You were supposed to leave your sunglasses on

Me: Oh shit. I need braaaaaainsssss. There is no intelligent life in this department

Leslie: Except for Betty. Go to the mailroom. That’s where the smart people with no initiative are.

(because it’s been storming like hell, which actually makes me happy)

Me: Everyone is freaking out. This is zombie weather.

Leslie: I”m stuck in the car .. I might melt

Me: You vs rain. No contest. Stay in the car 🙂

Leslie: I won 🙂

Me: Did you get a raindrop on you?

Leslie: My feet. I like open-toed sandals. Fuck

Me: I don’t know how to tell you this, but  … you’re probably a zombie now

Leslie: I knew it! The powers that be better fucking hide!

Me: Good news is brains are low-cal

Leslie: bahahaha

Me: Win-win. Low-cal snacks, plus dead assholes.

I don’t know what any of that means. You’re welcome.