Jo AnnE called me last night to finalize plans for the weekend … she and Michael (not his real name) are coming in from
Hell St. Louis to visit MoC and watch me graduate. (gulp)
She asked me if MoC was up to the task of sitting for two to three hours and then going to lunch (the answer to that is “probably”). That’s when the following conversation happened.
Me: She’s been doing pretty well lately, so I’m sure it will be fine. And if she isn’t up to it, we can wing it.
Jo AnnE: As soon as they call your name and you walk across the stage, just keep going and get the hell out of there. We’ll go to lunch as soon as you’re done.
Me: Well … I … um …
Jo AnnE: What? She doesn’t need to sit there for three hours if she doesn’t have to. We don’t care about anyone else, we care about you. Just get the diploma and get the hell out.
Me: That never even occurred to me.
Jo AnnE: Oh, my God. You have a degree?? What is wrong with you?
Yes, Jo AnnE, I do have a degree. In manners. 😆
I can’t really repeat the conversation I had with Leslie because if I did, it would land one of us in prison with a girlfriend named Bertha. On the other hand, I do kind of need a date …
Anyway … my damn moral code reared its ugly head again.
Me: I’ll see what I can do, but I can’t just …
Leslie: You know, if you check, I bet you could call and …
Me: No, I couldn’t.
Leslie: Why not?
Me: Because it’s illegal, that’s why!
Leslie: No, it isn’t!
Me: I’m pretty sure it’s a felony*
Leslie: More like a misdemeanor and how can they catch you anyway?
Me: Have you met me?
Leslie: There is no reason for anyone to question anything.
Me: But … well, I guess that makes sense. Why didn’t I think of that? Oh, that’s right. Because I’m not a criminal!
Leslie: You give me chest pain.
Me: How do you even put up with me?
Leslie: I don’t know!
*Dear FBI: That conversation never happened. Probably. Except for the part about giving her chest pain. I’ve been doing that
for 40 years since the day we met, but I’m positive that’s not illegal, just annoying.