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I should be writing a paper about the fake basis of a fake company’s fake acceptance of a fake Request for Proposal by another fake company. I’ll fake my way through it later.

It’s time for … texting with Leslie! For some of this to make sense, you should know that I had a doctor’s appointment last Wednesday. I walked in, gave the receptionist my name and told her my appointment was at 3:00. She looked it up, asked me for my name again, looked some more, asked for my birthdate, looked some more and finally said, “Did you know your appointment is tomorrow?” Yes, yes I did know that. I’m here today to make sure you were fully prepared for my arrival in 24 hours.

The next morning, I stopped at a convenience store to get coffee and realized I didn’t have my wallet. My wallet is always in my purse, unless it’s not. So I had to go back home, back to the store, and then finally on to work. Did I mention I had been going on about three hours of sleep for those two days?

Me: I made it home. At least I think I did.

Leslie: Good. Kick back and relax!

Me: I’ve got some nice stuff … leather furniture, big old flat screen. When did I get this sound system? Can’t find the cats, though. Weird.


Me: Stopped at QT to get coffee. Guess what I forgot? My wallet.

Me: Forget the hooker. Hire an assistant for me.

Leslie: I bet we can find one that has both skills

Me: Now you’re talkin’, fucker.

Leslie: Before I start interviewing, what skills are you looking for?

Me: Organized, neat but not girlie handwriting, innovative, sexy, good kisser, no morals

Leslie: I hate to tell you this … but … that’s me. I charge 20 bucks for cleaning, the rest can be negotiated 🙂 Muwahahahaha

Me: You have terrible handwriting.