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If you thought this was going to be a Valentine’s post, you flunk Cap 101. I just like that song lyric.

Did you think I was going on a long sabbatical? Wow. You lose again. You suck at this game. 😉

I took a couple of days to do some things I needed to do and to center myself again. Life sent me sideways for a while – but I’m straight again. So to speak.

I’ve decided to boycott Mondays. They really have no useful purpose.

Last Monday involved fighting with a doctor’s office and an insurance company (I lost), a lunch that was cold by the time I got it back to my desT© (including tater tots smothered in cheese that I didn’t order, making it one gloppy, congealed, disgusting mess) and begging my desT© partner to stop letting me leave the building (or her sight) without a compass and an interpreter.

This Monday was no different. I had a list (because I’ve resorted to making lists so I don’t lose my mind) of things I had to do today. I don’t have time to work, I have too much to do. On that list was paying my mother’s cable bill. It should have been easy, except the cable company is a front for Satan. I’ve documented my experiences with them throughout this blog (like the fact that it took 3 YEARS to find a kinked cable in my wall that caused my service to go out every 6 weeks. They fixed it. But now there’s a hole in my wall.) But hey, MoC is lucky. She gets things done and never has a hassle. So I figured since it was her bill, it would be easy.

Ha.

I tried to pay the bill online, but I couldn’t make the password work. This happens every. single. time. I called, sat on hold for a while and then I was told that MoC’s service was disconnected on December 31st. What? I told the guy we transferred the service to her new apartment – they even made me go to the hospital and call back, so that MoC could talk to them since I wasn’t on the account. So I said, “Fine. Let’s just set it up again.” But he told me he couldn’t do that and would have to transfer me. Which is when I lost my shit.

I had more errands to run for her after work, so I did that and then I went to the cable company. Of course there as a line. Of course there was one person working and two people eating and talking behind signs that said “next window please.”  So I did what I always do in those situations. I called upon Jesus for help.

JESUS CHRIST!

I called again tonight. This new guy seemed to have his act together but he still couldn’t help me because I’m not on the account. So I have to fax the POA to him tomorrow and then call him and then maybe we can be back in business.

But they’re Satan’s minions, so I’m not hopeful.

I texted Leslie to bitch about it today. After I bitched about the cable company, I decided to cheer myself up.

12:45pm

Me: My flowers haven’t arrived. Who the fuck did you use, Price Chopper?

Leslie: I took them by the cable office. The driver swore he’d deliver them between 8am and noon. Those fuckers!

That? Is reason #27 why I won’t sleep with the woman she has a crush on.

Most likely.

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