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David and I planned to go to MoC’s apartment today and hide all her stuff so that it will take her 6 months to find everything, but we got sidetracked. Which is totally his fault. He told me to meet him at MoC’s – so I went to the rehab center. He called about 20 minutes after the appointed time to ask where the hell I was. Turned out he was at her apartment. Ooops.

I found MoC sitting in her chair, watching television, hair curled, dressed for success and full of mischief. So while I was talking to David, I went to the hall and said, “Mom is up and she looks good and she’s in a great mood. What do you say we …”

And David said, “Take her to lunch?” Because he’s starting to read my mind.

Before he arrived, MoC and I were talking about one thing that I still haven’t done for her yet. I told her it’s because I am a terrible daughter and she should trade me in.

She said, “I guess I could get two 22 year olds for you.”

“Or a 28 year old and 16 year old.”

“Or a 30 year old and a 12 year old.”

“Wait. That won’t work.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not 42.”

“Oh. Right. You’re old.”

David rescued me then and we went to lunch. At the restaurant, the waitress brought us water – with three straws. You know what’s coming next, don’t you? MoC carefully stripped the end off the wrapper and blew the paper at him – and hit him square in the chest. David rolled his eyes (because he thinks MoC and I act like children – maybe because we do) and gave her another straw and pointed at me. She hit me in the face.

She was so happy to get out and it was a gorgeous day. She spent some time telling us how great it was that we did so much for her  – which isn’t really true. Not that we’re not great kids, because we are, but that we do so much for her. I mean, it’s not that much and besides, who wouldn’t? Then she said something about it being too much. I said, “Oh don’t worry. When it gets to be too much, I’m going to smother you.” (Dear FBI – that’s a joke and you really need to get a sense of humor)

MoC said, “When I get to be what?”

So I repeated it.

Then she said, “Oh, I thought you said a number and I was worried.”

So, because I’m a rotten daughter, I said, “Oh I have a number in mind.”

Then I grinned, because I’m evil.

David dropped her off and then we went shopping. I can’t tell you what we shopped for because it’s a surprise. We didn’t get a lot done with her apartment today but on the other hand, it was totally worth it.

That was the best meal I’ve had in 4 months.