… and measure these things by your brains
I just thought I’d quote “Live” to see if I could make Lass throw up in her mouth.
The other day I was hanging out with MoC and we were discussing the things I need to do regarding some of her things and I told her that I felt that I was failing her. I told her that I had so many balls in the air that I was dropping some of them. Because I’m an emotional little goat, I had tears in my eyes.
She said, with complete sincerity, “Oh, honey, you’re not a failure.”
Which touched me and made me smile.
Until she added, “Very often.”
Part of the reason I’ve been able to be so honest here is that I know MoC isn’t reading. But she will be home soon and she’ll read it then. Our relationship is pretty honest, but there’s a lot I don’t say – and I bet there is an equal amount that she doesn’t say. We (or at least I) don’t like messy emotions. We can say what needs to be said and then someone cracks a joke and we move on. That’s okay. We all have our defenses – because we need them – and we let each other have them.
My defenses have been down on this blog for the last four months and it has taught me a lot. The main lesson I learned is that I don’t really need those defenses anymore.
The only person who attacks me is … me.
The second lesson I learned is that I no longer have to attack myself.