I’m trying to decide if I should tackle day 8 of 30 Days of Truth now … or wait until I’m already in a bad mood. The question is: Someone who made your life a living hell, or treated you like shit.
It’s actually not Kendra (do I need to put her name in quotations, since that’s not her name?). Or the New York Ex. Or “Bridget.” Or the Catholic Asshole.
I’m not even sure I agree with the question. If I’m the one who makes my life worth living, then aren’t I also the one who makes my life a living hell (if it is, and it’s not)? But while that’s probably an honest answer, it’s not very entertaining. I’m getting a little tired of talking about Internet liars, though.
Here’s the short version: At the lowest point of my life, when the demons were seemingly winning, a woman came into my AOL chat room and fucked with me for the next 9 months. She had one outlandish story after another and I was defenseless and unable to see the truth. Her antics definitely contributed to my break with reality. And then one day she told me she had cancer. That seems to be the ultimate attention-getter. I’ve known two other people (besides her) who claimed to have cancer. Why are people so crazy? But she didn’t have just ANY cancer. She had brain cancer. By that time I had recovered enough to get her away from me, but then one day she sent me a picture. And then she called me. I told her she sure looked healthy for a cancer patient. She hadn’t lost weight and she didn’t look sick at all … and this was after several “treatments.” So she emailed me. GREAT NEWS! After my comments, she called her doctor and made him run more tests and guess what? IT WASN’T CANCER! I forgot what bullshit she fed me next, but I just said, “Yeah, that’s wonderful. Please die from some other disease. Soon.”
Was that too harsh?
I think not.
And I used to think I had problems.
The thing is, she really didn’t make my life a living hell … I did that myself by allowing her in. We create our own reality … and we create our own punishment and our own personal hell. I don’t have the words to describe how grateful I am that I no longer think I deserve to be lied to and/or taken advantage of.
Also? Fiona just did a back flip.