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I, Capricorn Cringe, being of  relatively sound mind, declare this to be my last will to distribute my worldly possessions amongst my dearest friends.

  • To The Lass: My not-so-vast music collection, including my MP3 player and all my Prince CDs
  • To Wende:  The artwork on my walls.

red vase painting boat painting cap portrait mail slot glasses

DO NOT SELL ON Mireio or I will haunt you.

  • To Len: Check my nightstand drawer and take the most interesting thing(s) you find*
  • To Slim: One of my cats (your choice)
  • To Dutchbitch:  The other cat (I hope you get Indy, the black cat, she’s mellow)
  • To Penelope who can’t be bothered to read me anymore: My ashtrays. They’re actually cool ashtrays, but you should quit smoking. 🙂
  • To Delmer:  My computers and software. Good luck.
  • To Kapgar: My tv and dvr, so you can record even more shows to fast forward through
  • To JoAnnE and “Michael”: My books. Half of them are yours, anyway.
  • To Mickey B: My phone, because you never call me anymore. Come to think of it, you don’t send me flowers or sing me love songs, either. Bitch.  🙂
  • To Tug: My cameras. Because you can’t have too many cameras.
  • To Leslie: Look in my nightstand drawer and take the most interesting thing you find.** Since you already STOLE one, now you’ll have a set.
  • Shreck: Rummage around and take what you fancy. But stay out of my nightstand drawer. The most interesting things*** are already gone.

This concludes my last will and testament. I realize that I left off things like my desks and my car and my furniture, so take what you need and burn the rest to kill the germs.

Welcome to Week Three of a mysterious and devastating illness that keeps mutating and will. not. die. I’m off to spend money I don’t have at an urgent care clinic because maybe, just possibly, there is a cure for me.  If there is no cure and I die, just know that I’m so glad we had this time together, just to have a laugh and sing a song. Seems we just get started and before you know it comes the time we have to say so long.

* Not a reference to sex toys. God, you’re such a PREvert.

** Still not a reference to sex toys. You’re so sick.

*** Nope, still not what you’re thinking. And stop thinking that. GROSS!

(The extended asterisks idea was stolen from Dave2 because he is cooler than I am.)