I’m beginning to think I don’t handle stress very well. And honestly, is it such a good thing to internalize stress? That’s how people have … um … strokes.
I don’t like loose ends. If I have to ‘handle’ something, I don’t want 40 people trying to ‘help’ me – I just want to get in and get it done. That’s how I minimize stress. This situation with my mom is getting a little out of control and there’s not much I can do about it.
And so I decided I would tie up a loose end that was dangling like a participle. Remember the fascinating Libra I’d been emailing? She was hanging out with someone else and I knew it wasn’t going anywhere with me, but I pushed it anyway. I did it for two reasons. First, because I really did like her and wanted to get to know her. I’m not leaving this planet with a pile of regrets in my wake. The only way things change is if I change things, right? So I gave it a shot and told her how I felt. The second reason was that I knew the answer was no and I needed to hear it. Too much is up in the air right now and I need to know where I stand as much as possible.
People have used words like ’emotional’ and ‘intense’ to describe me. Today’s word was ‘volatile.’ That’s okay. She was probably out of my league anyway.
And now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to sleep for 12 hours.
PS Please don’t leave comments saying unkind things about her. She’s a good person who is very cool and this wasn’t her fault.