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MoC and I had breakfast the other morning. As part of our routine when we go to any restaurant, we asked for water (because it usually comes with a straw). Then we carefully tore off the end of the wrapper, and used the straw to blow the wrapper at each other. For the record, MoC usually either hits me in the face or blows it over my head into the next booth. At which point we both duck down and giggle like a couple of 7 year olds.

We never use the straws, we just blow the wrappers at each other. So the other day, I picked up my abandoned straw and brandished it at MoC.

MoC: Are you challenging me to a duel?

Me: Yes!

Two seconds later, my straw flew out of my hand.

MoC: You can’t win. Why do you even try?

Me: I’m an optimist?

MoC: You’re never going to beat me.

I’m afraid she might be right.

MoC always seems to get in my head and pluck out my thoughts, which can be annoying sometimes. The Unconscious Mutterings when we give the same answers? She doesn’t look at mine before she writes her answers, even though I accuse her of it. We just think alike. Sometimes she knows what I think before I even think it. When I’m in a good mood and she does it, I say “You don’t know me!”

Today we were talking about my lack of desire to complete my homework on time, my messy apartment and my anti-social ways.

MoC: You say it doesn’t bother you, but it does. You’ve worked too hard and come too far to just stop trying. You want a good grade.

Me: Stop analyzing me! You don’t know me!!

MoC: Yes, I do.

Me: Nononononononononono!

For the record, she’s right. I don’t want a bad grade, and not doing my homework does bother me … but by the same token, I can’t seem to make myself sit down and do it until the last minute – which in this case meant skipping a party yesterday. A party that lesbians were attending. Single lesbians.

I’m an idiot.

But I will deny that my mother is right until my last breath and with that breath, I will sing this song:

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