You know how when your mom believes in you, it makes it hard for you to be evil? No? Oh. Lucky you.
The temp company I’m working for offers health insurance after 30 days. Yay! I forgot to fill out the paperwork. Boo! I was doing that tonight and decided to go ahead and get term life insurance for the duration. It’s pretty unlikely that the mafia will find me because that thing with Marco was a long time ago and I’ve changed my name since then. But if they do find me, MoC will get a small benefit. Unless MoC kills me. Which is a whole other story.
Anyway, to make MoC benefit from my future imaginary mafia death, I needed her social security number. So I called her and asked her for it. And she gave it to me. If she has paid any attention over the last 43 years to my life, she knows I remember numbers. Even long numbers. Once I write it down, it’s in my head for a long, long time. I didn’t tell her why I needed it; I didn’t tell her she could win the term life lottery if I croak. She just offered up the key to her entire life, without question.
Me: What’s your social security number?
Me: Aren’t you going to ask why I need it?
MoC: Well, you wouldn’t ask if you didn’t need it, would you?
Me: No, but … seriously, you don’t want to know?
(At that point, I told her why I needed it)
MoC: If I asked you for yours, would you give it to me?
Me: Yeah, but I would probably ask you why you wanted it.
MoC: You just told me why you wanted it.
Me: But only because I was completely stunned that you just gave me the keys to your life without hesitation.
MoC: Why wouldn’t I? You’re my daughter.
Yeah, but that doesn’t make me not evil, does it?
Guess we’ll find out when the bills for my new shoes, wardrobe, cd’s, new house, computer, mani-pedi, fat farm reservation, massage, new laptop, camera, car, and plane tickets arrive. And that’s only what I ordered in the last two hours …