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This whole having a job thing is a lot like actual work. I’ve forgotten what work can be like – and by that, I mean I’m bored out of my mind. I’ll be in training for another 5 weeks and then on a leash for another 4 weeks. And by then my soul should be ground to a fine, fine dust.

I shouldn’t say that out loud. The truth is that it’s going to be a very good place to toil while I search for my dream job – and ideally, that dream job would be with this company. Every person I have encountered has said hello to me. Every single person. The building is a huge rat maze and of course, I got lost trying to find my way out. I’m not proud, so I asked someone to point me in the right direction. Instead of doing that, she walked me to the door. Who does that?? There are lots of former coworkers (re-coworkers?) around and even one of my high school friends. Small world. My high school reunion is coming up. I’m considering it. Yes, I am.

June can kiss my ass. July is going to be better, I just know it. I feel better already. I have a j-o-b and I’m walking every day (but not to work, even though technically, I could. I have to walk during the hottest part of the freaking day now, but I am doing it), and I’m not eating junk and I’m putting things back together physically and mentally. June was a seriously bad month – but I let it be that way, which is kind of surprising to me. It’s not like I enjoy feeling like shit, but when my attitude is sucky I only attract more crap. When I can focus on the positive things, positive things come into my life. It’s a lesson I thought I had learned, but everything that happened this month brought it all back home to me in a way I can’t ignore. Instead of taking a big step back and identifying the problem so I could solve it, I kept attacking it. Brute force never works. Never, ever. Sometimes when everything goes sideways, I forget that I can change nothing in life except myself.

This is the last week of my Java II class. After that, I think it will be gravy until I get to the end. All network core classes, all the way. Seven classes, 21 credits. I’m so close, I can taste it. It needs a little salt, I think. It’s hard to believe that in just nine months, I’ll be finished. Maybe finding the job I want will be a little easier when I can put B.S. behind my name. Well, I could put it there now, but it wouldn’t mean the same thing.

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