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You know how if you have a manual transmission car and you park it on a flat surface, you should be able to leave it in neutral and theoretically nothing will happen to it, but you don’t do it because it’s you and something always happens when you aren’t paying strict attention? It’s like that, only I drive an automatic.

I decided to buy a new pair of jeans the other day. I tried on six different pairs, all the while looking in a full-length, three way mirror. Oh my God. I can’t date until they disinvent electricity so I can date by candlelight. Which means my next date will be … probably never. Or later. MoC tells me through the door that she is going to try something on in the next dressing room. So when I am finished crying, I pack everything up and make my escape. But I don’t see MoC in the store, so I think she’s still in the dressing room. So I walked to the dressing room I thought she was in and said, “Marco!” I waited for her to say “Polo!” but she didn’t. So I said, “Marco!” again. Nothing. I was about to knock on the door and say something smart-alecky when MoC appears at the end of the hallway on my left. I think I traumatized the woman I was badgering in the dressing room.

The mirror traumatized me. I’m pretty sure I have something going on that is making it very difficult to lose weight, but I’m a Capricorn. I joke around that I excel at gloom and doom, but that’s not strictly true. I’m seriously good at using my willpower like a white-hot laser. Capricorns invented determination. Looks like I’ll be finding new and creative ways of using brown rice. Yum.

This morning I was going to go for a long walk because it was cloudy and cool. Also, see above where I am disgusted with myself. I opened the door and the sky opened up. It hasn’t stopped raining since.

My former supervisor called me yesterday to tell me the guy from the dream job called her. She said that he seemed confused and was talking to her like she had applied for a job. She said she hadn’t and then he said, “OH. Cap gave your name as a reference.” She lied and told him I’m a wonderful customer service person. He asked if, given an opportunity, she would work with me again and she said she definitely would. I guess I owe her now. I called our former manager today, but she has not heard from him, which is strange because I listed her first. I think it’s a good sign that they’re calling references, but I’m still pretty nervous about the whole thing.

For my job hunt, I have a system now. I have a cover letter that I like, so I use it with each job I apply for and just tailor it to fit the job. It’s a little different each time, but the basic format is the same. I just open a cover letter, copy it into the job site application and then edit it to fit the company I’m sending it to. Yesterday I applied for a help desk job at a law firm. I filled out the application, attached my resume and then copied my cover letter into the form. I made sure I changed the job title to the current one. Then I hit send.

That’s when I realized I hadn’t changed the date and it was addressed to a different contact person at a different company.

It’s a little like making love and calling out someone else’s name.

Not that I’d know anything about that.

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