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It’s official.

I have a new girlfriend and I think most of you know her – Jane Lynch. For my foreign friends and my friends who live under rocks, you’ve been missing out.  I’m still kind of luke-warm on Glee, but Jane is hot, hot, hot.  Hey, funny trumps everything.   I had a mild, harmless crush on her … until Tuesday night and Lynch’s Vogue video tribute. Wow. I’m in love. I hope her girlfriend is prepared to fight for her, ’cause now I’m in it to win it.  😀

My dream job – the company I really, really, really want to work for – hasn’t called me yet. That’s okay, though, because tomorrow morning I have an interview with my 2nd dream job – the company I really, really want to work for.  I can’t say more than that because A) it’s an internationally recognized name and B) I don’t want to jinx myself.  Let’s just say that it would be a humongous step forward and I’ll be lucky if I get through the interview without peeing my pants. Or squee-ing.

Also, if I don’t get this job I’ll be homeless because I called MoC an asshole and then hung up on her to take the call from the interviewer.  Wow, it sounds really bad when I say it that way, doesn’t it?  Let’s back up.

First, I was asleep (and probably snoring) on the couch when my phone rang.  I was too groggy to answer, so I let it go to voice mail.  I got the message and about passed out.  YES YES YES YES YESYESYESYES!  I called him back, but got his voice mail.  I called MoC to gloat tell her (and to wake up a little) and as usual, the conversation turned to my grandfather and poop. Just for (shits and) grins, I said I had pooped 17 times.  And then MoC said, “Wow. I wonder if it was something you ate.”

So I said:  Why does it have to be something I ate? WHY CAN’T I JUST BE GOOD AT SOMETHING?!?!?!

Then, not quite under my breath, I said, “Asshole!” Which made me giggle uncontrollably.  Then my cell phone rang and so I yelled, “Ohmygod! It’s him!” and hung up on my mother to take the call.

The moral of the story is, if you call your mom an asshole and hang up on her, you should probably justify it by lining up a job interview. It worked for me  😛