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MoC is hiding something from me. She ordered something online but she won’t tell me what it is. Today I got sick of doing homework, so I made MoC rescue me. She wanted me to drive to the mailbox in her complex to check to see if “it” was there.  “It” was not.  The following conversation convinced me that no matter how old I get, no matter how I try, I will never win.

Me: What is it?

MoC: It’s a box.

Me: No, I mean what’s in it?

MoC: How will I know until I open it? I guess I won’t know until it gets here.

Me: Seriously. What is it?

MoC: Something.

Me: How big is it? Is it alive?

MoC: It’s a surprise.

Me: Okay. Fine. How do you spell it?

MoC: S-u-r-p-r


The other thing I’ve been wondering is how I got through 43 years my entire life without learning how to cook. It’s a good thing I am not into crystal meth because I wouldn’t be able to cook that, either! Technically, I’ve never tried to cook meth, but I’m going to take a risk and assume I’m not any better at cooking drugs than I am at cooking food.

Anyway. I thought tonight I would try a noodle thing with some chicken and a sauce-like substance.

Sometimes things taste better than they look. That was not the case here.  How is it even possible I’m fat? Seriously. How can that happen?

Yesterday the Replacement Cat met The Evil Twin, who has been living under the front porch and/or in a pet carrier (covered with a shirt, a sweatshirt and then zipped inside an old ski jacket to keep water out) on my deck.  Don’t laugh – it’s the best I can do. I can’t let him in (shush, Lass), but I don’t want him to be cold – and I can’t afford to buy a little cat house for him.  Anyway, I walked into the living room and TRC was freaked out. She was all puffed out like a Halloween cat, so of course I grabbed the camera.  Unfortunately, all that puff didn’t translate well to the camera, but you can see them staring at each other.

Then later, I tried to get more pictures of her.  She really doesn’t like the camera.

But then I tricked her by making her think (Rodin’s influence) – I asked her if a dog, a cat and a mouse all needed to cross a river, but they could only cross two at a time and neither the cat and mouse nor the dog and cat could be on the same side of the river alone together – how would she get all three across?

She’s been quiet all evening …