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If you’ve been reading for a while, you know I’ve been having an affair with my dentist for the last year or so. One of the last times I saw him, I told him we were over.

Last Wednesday, I realized I couldn’t live without him anymore. I had to see him. I got an appointment for Friday and he punched me in the face and then told me to come back Tuesday so he could do it again. Which I did. Because I’m a glutton for punishment.

Today I got a card in the mail with no return address. Hmm. It was postmarked Monday, the 17th. I opened it and it was a personal, hand-written note from the dentist that said:

Dear Cap,

Thank you for being such a great person and patient to all of us.

Which was really nice. But considering our history (click the links), there is no way I can let it pass.  I want to send the card back with a note … but I’m not sure what to say. I’m thinking something along the lines of:

Dear Dentist the Menace,

Keep sweet-talking me like that and I’ll let you punch me in the face and give me a full bridge.

But I need something a little funnier than that (although that’s not bad).

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to come up with something that would make him laugh.

Ready? GO!