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A few years ago, the company I worked for offered me the opportunity to work from home. I’m one of those people who needs a schedule and someplace to go every day, so I turned it down. It would have been great for about a week. Then I would have had trouble getting up. It wouldn’t have been long before I stopped getting out of bed at all. As curmudgeonly as I can be sometimes – I kind of like people. (Don’t tell anyone I said that. No one will believe you.) Which doesn’t mean I actually liked Cartman – because I didn’t. But overall, I liked the people I worked with and I liked bitching about them.

I haven’t gotten out of bed before 9:00am in over a week. I’ve applied for so many jobs that I’ve lost count (yes, I’m keeping track). I haven’t gotten any response at all. If I could just get someone to talk to me, I’m sure I could convince them that I can do the job.

MoC told me how she hired a receptionist once (whose brother was the hypocritical Catholic Asshole who basically called me a whore, but that’s another story). The woman came to the office and asked to speak to the office manager (MoC). So someone went to get MoC and MoC said (to the messenger) that they didn’t have anything available. But then, on a whim, she decided to talk to her anyway. So MoC met her, liked her, and hired her on the spot as a receptionist. She was going to school and later went into IT – and moved up within the office several times before she moved on. I keep thinking maybe something like that will happen to me – if only I could get someone to talk to me.

I’ve ignored two calls from insurance head-hunters and told a third I wasn’t interested. And I have to wonder if I’m cutting off my nose to spite my face. (I never really understood what that meant – until now). It’s just that every time I think about going back to insurance, my heart shrivels a little more. This is what I know: If I don’t do everything I can to find an IT job now, I will regret it. If I take something safe because I’m scared, I will not pursue an IT career – I know this. I’m not being dramatic. I’m  forty-two not thirty anymore. If I wait much longer, it really will be too late to start a new career. People always pat your head and tell you it’s never too late (and sometimes throw in a Grandma Moses reference just for fun) – I can guarantee they aren’t looking for a job.

I suppose it could be worse. I could be in Detroit or Chicago, the two cities with the biggest lay-offs. Somehow, though, I don’t feel any better being unemployed here than I would if I were unemployed there. As Shakespeare once said, “Unemployment, in any other city, sucks just as bad.”