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I hesitate to write this because it will just sound mean. On the other hand, when it comes back to bite me, I can always say, “I write for myself and no one else!” We know that’s not true, but they don’t know it.

There should be a “Don’t want to be friends, but wanted to see how you’re doing” option on Facebook. I have a lot of “friends” that I went to school with – people with whom I have nothing in common anymore, but the only way to find that out is to friend them. Late last week, I became friends with another woman I went to school with – grade school, junior high and high school. I’ll call her GN, just to keep it mysterious and confusing.

 In grade school, I had a sleepover at her house. The next morning her mom drove me home. GN and her little sister were in the car. When her mom stopped in front of the house, the little sister said, “Ew. Who lives in that house?” And she was pointing at my front door. Suddenly I saw it through her eyes. Peeling paint on the front door – the entire house needed painting. It was the only house on the block with no shrubbery in front.

We had two Afghan Hounds back then and they jumped up on the redwood fence when anyone was near the house. They were looking over the fence that morning, so I trudged through the snow to the side of the house to say hello. I was hoping that my friend’s mom would just drive away, but she didn’t, so I gathered myself and went inside without looking at the car again.

I saw GN at school, she told me her little sister got a spanking. It didn’t make me feel better. We weren’t really friends after that, either.

In junior high she was a cheerleader. In high school, I kind of lost track of her. I mentioned her when I was writing about meeting my friend A. and then perusing the reunion  website. If I’m not mistaken, I said she still looked like a whore.  I said it mostly because I was jealous. She’s very pretty and she looks great.

Then I saw her on A’s friend list, so I sent a friend request. She accepted. Just for the fun of it, I looked at some of her photos. Her daughter is around 22 or 23 and looks just like GN. 

The background was a picture of Tiger Woods squatting on the green, measuring the putt. And GN’s daughter was posed on her hands and knees directly in what would have been his line of sight. Yech. Ok, so it was a little naughty … I didn’t really think it was funny, but it wasn’t a big deal, either.

Then I started thinking about it. I almost copied it here, but that’s not right. Besides, the picture itself isn’t the problem. My problem with it is that the kid’s mother put it on the Internet – where someone less concerned about ethical codes could copy it and distribute it at will. She might as well have captioned it, “Hey, look at my skanky daughter!”

I looked through more of the photos and found one of GN, her daughter and GN’s sister. They were wearing homemade signs on their heads. GN’s said “MILF!” GN’s sister’s said “I’ve given so much head, my mouth has stretch marks” and GN’s daughter’s said “I’m the load my mother should have swallowed.”

That’s when I decided I’m not being petty. Some of it definitely stems from that old feeling of being on the outside looking in, but that was a hell of a long time ago and it really has no bearing on my life today.

I think people can change. God knows I’m not the same person I was in high school. I’m not even the same woman I was 5 years ago. But some things – like the skank gene – are burned into a person’s DNA.