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Did you hear the one about the cops and the chimp? Yeah, yeah, me too. But I was referring to the cartoon in the New York Post that is causing some controversy. Here’s a link to it … see what you think. I think it’s in extremely poor taste, but I don’t see how it’s racist. I didn’t even see how it was about Barack Obama until Bosshole (who showed it to me) said it was racist because he wrote that bill. Huh? You know, the stimulus bill. Oh, that one. No, he didn’t. He wanted it. He pushed for it. He supported it and he signed it. But he didn’t write it. I guess I’m too literal for political cartoon humor – or too well informed. One or the other.

I’m down to 5 days. Okay, officially it is 6 days but next Friday I plan on skipping out as soon as I get my check. What are they gonna do, stop payment on it? Oh. Well …

The company is having a luncheon next Friday for the departing employees. One of the women who left last month came back today for the job fair. As she was leaving she announced that she would be back next week so she could have lunch with us. Huh? Is my definition of “employee” too narrow because I only include people who are actual, current employees?

But you wanted the good news, didn’t you? One of MoC’s friends gave her a business card for an IT staffing company. The friend told her contact about me, said I was smart but inexperienced and looking to get a start in IT. He told her they would give me a “skills” test and that I would need excellent references – which makes sense. MoC convinced me I should ask the VP if I could use her name.

It just so happened that I ran into her in the break room today. She was at the vending machine looking for Cheez-Its and they were out. So she asked me if I ate the last bag. I denied it (because I actually ate it Tuesday). And just as I was about to say, “Hey, since you brought me back after the first time you fired me, and then you fired me again two years later, how about giving me a reference?” someone walked in. Rats! So I left and went to another floor in search of cheezy deliciousness. Bribes are always good, right?

No Cheez-Its on that floor, either, so I emailed her. We talked about IT last summer and she hooked me up with the director of the IT dept. In my email I said I was still interested in IT and thought this was the perfect opportunity to break in on the ground floor, blah blah blah. I asked her if I could use her as a reference. Then I said I would understand if she couldn’t, but that if she could, there would be an endless supply of Cheez-Its for her in heaven. She wrote back about 5 minutes later and said I could use her name and that it had been a pleasure working with me. Yes, yes it is a pleasure working with me. I’m a goddamn delight. πŸ˜•

When I got the email, I yelled “YES!” and made Bosshole look over at me. Oh, no. No way am I telling her I got the VP to give me a reference. So I told her I had a lead on an IT job … which, when I pass the A+ exam, I will. It’s not a complete lie.

I still haven’t heard from the company I interviewed with. They interviewed three other people from my place, but since no one is available until March, I guess they waited to make the decision. My decision is … I don’t want it. If I can eke it out on my severance and unemployment until I get something else then that’s what I want to do. It may be foolish to turn it down (assuming it will be offered), but … it’s time for me to be happy and that job won’t do it for me.

I’m a little nervous because I’m planning on dropping a small boatload (a rowboat maybe) of money right as I lose my job. I’m getting a laptop for school (yes, just for school. I need it. Really.) and I am getting that camera I’ve been drooling over for 3 months. I’m also getting new glasses and contacts and a new phone. Two things I need. One thing I kind of need (phone. Mine’s a $15 piece of poop) and one thing I want. I want that camera – and really, it’s not that expensive. None of the things I am getting are expensive (the laptop is refurbished) but buying them all at once will make it add up. I don’t care. I want them. I need them. I deserve them.

And that’s the truth. Pfft! 😑