MoC told me that when I turned 35 (just last year. Honest. Shut up!) I had to stop blaming her for everything and take responsibility for my own life. I smiled and nodded and agreed, but I never really stopped. Everything in my life can be directly or indirectly traced back to her. When it comes right down to it, I didn’t ask to be born, did I? No, I did not.

Therefore, it is MoC’s fault, whatever it is. From bad hair days to car doors that won’t latch in cold weather to shredded tires caused by running over a piece of metal while sliding on an ice patch – I lay the blame solely at my mother’s feet!

Today, though, you can thank MoC. Without her, there would be no me. And without me, your world would suck just a little more.