I got to spend part of my day off in the dentist’s chair. That’s not always a bad thing, because it is a massage chair, but still it’s the dentist. And I was just there a week ago, when he punched me in the face and sent me on my way. A week later, it still hurts.

This was part of our conversation:

Me: I’m just not that into you anymore.

Dentist: Oh, no. What’s wrong?

Me: I came to you when I was vulnerable and in pain. You told me you’d take care of me. You made me feel important.

Dentist: Um, you are important.

Me: You said I was special and that you would never hurt me.

Dentist: Did I say never? I’m sure I didn’t say never, because there’s always residual pain. It’s the residual pain that gets ya.

(to the dental assistant): Did you know she’s my ex-girlfriend?

Me: I trusted you. And you hurt me. I just have four words for you. “Pain free, my ass!”

Dentist: Oh, God, I’m glad there’s no one else here. I’d have to stick a sock in your mouth! Shh!

Me: You can’t silence the truth!

Dentist: I know it hurts, but we’re limited in our choices. Everyone’s pain level is different. I’ve had a crown before and it didn’t bother me.

Me: That’s because you’re not sensitive.

Dentist: You might have a point.

So we had a laugh and I learned that there is a tiny gap in the *something*, that he can’t even get his instrument into (I let that one slide. I can only go so far, you know). And that tiny gap is leaving the *something* exposed and that’s why it hurts. My next appointment is in three weeks, for the permanent crown.  He offered me a choice:  free samples of Sensodyne toothpaste which would help with the pain and sensitivity or he could punch me in the face and redo the temporary crown. I have the day off and it’s 47 degrees (8 C for my metric friends) and I don’t feel like getting punched in the face. I took door #1.

Now I understand how this cat feels.
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