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I got out of going to The Czarina’s for Thanksgiving. (YESSSSSSSS!!!, complete with a victory arm thrust) I was originally going to go up, because my most favoritest aunt was coming, too. But it turns out that she can’t go, and since The Czarina feels guilty when I come home for Thanksgiving, she told me not to worry about driving up.

Gee, twist my arm.

I was really looking forward to your repeated and nagging comments about how fat I am. Or your oh-so-subtle digs implying I could find a better boyfriend. Or remind me of how miserable I am in my job. Because what are the holidays for, if not to make you feel bad about yourself? As much as I’d love to have a big plate, piled high with thick slabs of passive aggresiveness, steamed repressed emotions, a side of control freak stuffing, some you-are-a-fuck-up casserole and a glob of smashed happiness, smothered in guilt gravy and sprinkled with denial and delusion, I think I’ll pass.
– Virginia Belle

I found that on a blog I read. I can’t link it because it’s an invite-only blog (yes, I’m that special) but it amused me and I wanted to share it. It also made me realize how glad I am that my mother is not a pain in my ass.

This year, I’m grateful for a lot of things. Sometimes we don’t appreciate what we have and take things for granted. And by we, I mean me.

So this year, I’m going to count my blessings by making a gratitude list. It won’t ever be complete, but maybe it will help me remember that life will give me back what I put out there. Lately some good stuff is coming back to me.

  • TFC saved my sanity, but Indy healed my heart. Maybe that sounds melodramatic, but it is the absolute truth.
  • My mom never gives me shit about my decisions. Ever. She always supports me. I never have to worry about getting “a glob of smashed happiness” on my plate at Thanksgiving.
  • My sister communicates with me by sending ‘gifts’ on Facebook. Last year, we weren’t communicating at all. I’ll take it.
  • My brother acted like an ass one night 10 years ago. I cut him out of my life for the next 7 years. He forgave me.
  • Even though I’ve abused it a lot, I still have most of my health. It’s something I took for granted until I realized that climbing a flight of stairs will never be ‘easy’ again. I’ll settle for ‘do-able’ and be happy that I’m not making things worse anymore.
  • I have some very good friends, both in real life and in the blog world. It’s not always possible to just be yourself, but these people accept me.
  • I’ve learned to laugh at myself. Finally.
  • I’m back in school and I can achieve my goal.
  • After some severe social retardation and isolation, I’m coming back out of my shell. I’m building confidence every day.
  • In the past when I made someone unhappy, I would blame them. Now I own it – and don’t repeat the mistake. Change happened only when I stopped making promises and started doing things differently.
  • I finally understand that people don’t usually remember what you did or what you said. They remember how you make them feel.