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I got an email from my boss the other day. It was one of those silly spam poems that I never forward (you’re welcome). It was also one I’ve seen a million times before, but this time it had a little twist at the end.

I cut out most of it, but left enough to give the idea and to get on your last nerve with bad rhymes (yes, you’re welcome).

Went to a party Mom

(read all the way to the bottom and sign your name)

I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
so I had a sprite instead.

I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece.

Now I’m lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
the kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.

Someone should have taught him,
That it’s wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I’d still be alive.

MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers) IS HOPING TO GET 5,000

When this petition has reached 5,000, please return it to:

P.O. Box 54168 8
Dallas , TX 75354-1688
1-800-GET-MADD (1-800-438-6233)

If you receive this petition and do nothing but delete it, your selfishness knows no bounds. Signing is such a small effort to make. After you have read the poem, please add your name at the bottom. And never forget, DON’T EVER DRINK AND DRIVE, not even once, thinking that it won’t matter. IT DEFINITELY WILL MATTER!!!

What?? I accept that I’m selfish because I never wanted children, live by my own code, tell people what I think, am inconsiderate, direct, impatient, and honest – sometimes brutally honest. But NOW I’m selfish because I won’t forward a badly written poem? Now I’m selfish because I refuse to participate in a feel-good chain letter that does absolutely nothing to help one single person who has been affected by a drunk driver? Now I’m selfish because a bad poem didn’t move me to tears and cause me to clutter up someone else’s inbox and waste their valuable time? Now I’m selfish because I think actions are more important than empty symbolic gestures?