An old friend of mine found me on classmates.com. We’ve been emailing back and forth and are getting together in a few weeks. She was someone that I always liked, even though we weren’t very close through high school. That could be because I was really busy doing drugs. I mean studying, MoC. I was studying and didn’t have time for anyone. Anyway, she’s just a genuinely nice person and so I was delighted to hear from her. I’m looking forward to the get-together.
But then I started thinking … twenty years (okay, more than that) is a long time. I’m not that angry, arrogant, impatient, nihilistic teenager anymore. After all, I’m over forty now. I feel sad that my friendship with Leslie morphed into an uneasy acquaintanceship, but I know why it happened. We not only don’t have hobbies and interests in common, we just don’t share the same values anymore.
Just from our emails recently, I know that A. and I won’t run out of stuff to talk about. It’s just that when I see people I knew when I was younger I always feel that I fell short. A year or so ago, I mentioned a kid I went to school with who is now a state senator. None of the things I planned worked out – I’m not mega-rich, I’m not famous, and I’m not a New York Times best-selling author.
Speaking of NaNoWriMo (see what I did there? see why I’m not only not a best-selling author but an unpublished hack?), I haven’t come close to my word count. Barring a burst of creativity that I cannot ignore, I won’t finish the novel by the end of the month. The good news is that the story is taking shape and I can see where it is trying to go. This happened to me with the last novel. I farted around with it for over a year and then something clicked and I just had to tell the story. I rewrote the first half and finished the whole thing within five months, writing on my lunch hour and after work. With this one, it’s now a matter of making the time, which I will have less of when I start school again. I know from experience that if I wait until I actually have time or inspiration (or even a good idea) then I will never finish it.