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I went to the grocery store today because I was out of everything. I figured if I went early, I would miss the crowds (wrong) and no one would piss me off (wrong again). I navigated the masses, got my stuff and found a checkout line. Then I realized I had left my “green” tote bags in the car. Great.

So the cashier asked me if plastic was okay. Yes, plastic is fine, let’s destroy the environment so I can get off this planet faster. We had this conversation as she rang up the last few items.

(Edit:  Wednesday is the day senior citizens get a 10% discount off the bill)

Stupid Cow Cashier:  Are you 55 or older?
Me: What?

I was so shocked I think my mouth was actually hanging open.

Stupid Insensitive Cow Cashier:  Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t … I mean, I asked you because I didn’t ask a lady earlier because she didn’t look very old and…
Me:  What??
Stupid Insensitve Cow Who Doesn’t Know When to Shut the Fuck Up Cashier: I didn’t mean you looked older, I just ask everyone who might …
Me: It’s okay. Really. It’s the hair. It happens all the time. No big deal.

So I left and called MoC because I figured she might get a laugh out of it.

Me: I have the question of the day.
MoC: Oh, good, because I finally have the answer.
Me: I was at Hy-Vee and …
MoC: Just now?
Me: Yes, I’m headed home.
MoC: I was just there. I’m putting my groceries away.
Me: The question of the day is:  “Are you 55 or older?” OHMYGOD do I look 50, let alone 55? Do I even look 45??? What is wrong with people??
MoC: Oh, that’s hilarious …
Me: NO IT ISN’T!
MoC: I meant it’s hilarious that we were probably there at the same time.
Me: Oh. Yeah, that is kind of funny.
MoC: Was the girl youngish?
Me: She was at least my age, probably older.
MoC: I just wondered because the girl didn’t ask me if I wanted the discount. I had to ask her for it.

That’s it.

I quit.

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