Customer: Excuse me, where’s the bread?
Employee: Bread is gonna be on aisle 6.
Me: Okay, but where is it now?
Employee: Uh, aisle 6?

(The customer got it – she laughed)

Bosshole: I’m going to retire when I’m 60 and get a play job.
Me: Isn’t that what you have now?

(on our play date last Thursday, after retrieving MoC’s driver’s license and her umbrella from a gift shop)
Me: I should have told them I knocked you out and stuffed you in a bathroom stall.
MoC: That’s okay. The cleaning crew would have found me.

(after taking random pictures of her outside the memorial and dancing around in the rain)
MoC: Have we always had this much fun?

That was the best thing I’ve heard in a long time 🙂

Certainly it was better than the awful whomp sound I heard when I kicked the cat tree on Wednesday. It hurt so bad that I couldn’t even yell, I just whimpered pitifully. Besides, yelling only works when you live with someone who will run in and say, “Oh my God, what happened?” and sympathize with you.

Sadly, that was not actually the most painful moment this week. But it was the only moment I can post a picture of.

No, my foot is not that fat. It’s that swollen.