I had a dental appointment this afternoon. The dentist was explaining why I needed a crown on one of my front teeth and in his zeal to convince me he said, “You’ve had these teeth your whole life and you deserve to have a great smile in the second half of your life.” Now, I know that at that point he was starting to babble and he probably didn’t mean to say it quite that way. However I’m not above having a little fun at someone else’s expense. In this case, it was literally at his expense.

Me: Okay. I have a question, though.
Dentist: Shoot.
Me: You said I deserve to have a great smile in the second half of my life.
Dentist: Uh-huh.
Me: Are you implying I’m middle-aged?

It was flawlessly delivered. I had my best poker deadpan face. He stuttered and stammered and floundered for a minute. Then I decided to torment him a little more.

Me: If you’re going to call me middle-aged, I think I should get a 15% discount.
Dentist: How about I bleach your teeth at no charge?
Me: Deal.

Too bad he didn’t call me fat.