Bosshole:  Do you have file OU-8-1-2 on your desT®?

Me: No. I shredded it so the Shrew will think we’re conspiring against her.

Bosshole: Very funny. I need it. Do you have it?

Me: No. I shredded it so you wouldn’t be able to audit me.

Bosshole: You don’t even know why I want it. You have no idea what I’m doing over here.

Me: That’s true. I’m actually surprised you’re awake.