Usually when I’m not writing online, I’m writing in my journal. I use it as a way to talk to myself. When I say to myself, “Oh my God, what the hell was I thinking when I did that?” – I can go back to the journal and find out exactly what was in my head.
I haven’t been writing anywhere because I don’t want to think about anything right now. And I don’t want to explain what I’m not thinking about – or why I’m not thinking about it.
I have a couple of major decisions to make in the next few months. I’m a good decider. I decide things all the time. My deciding skillz are legendary. In no particular order: I once decided to join the Navy, have my book published, and move across the country. I decided to go to school, change jobs, get married, and have online affairs with a string of unavailable women – which was not a bunch of fun, so I decided to stop doing that. Making the decision is the easy part; it’s the follow-through that fucks me up. The next two decisions depend on the follow-through – what I want and how I want to get it. The answers continue to surprise me.
I’ve decided to delete the K category. The posts will still be online but that part of my life is over and no longer needs its own space on my blog – or in my mind. I decided to move on more than a year ago. See? It’s that follow-through thing again. It’s a bitch.
I could be having a giant, slow-motion panic attack. I don’t know. I can’t decide.
I hear the voices and I read the front page and I know the speculation. But I’m the decider. And I decide what is best.
– George W. Bush