Last night, for the first time in two years, I turned in a paper that I knew was substandard. For one thing, it was almost 500 words short of the minimum word count. Huge chunks of it were block quotes so most of the words were not mine anyway. I was tired and having trouble finding information that I could use and I wanted to watch football. So I tapped out a very brief conclusion, made a cover page and turned it in. Now I realize that I forgot the headers. Oh, well. How many more points can I lose? Is it possible for me to care less about this? I don’t think so. I’m careless.

This post is also a plea for help. If you’re a programmer, I need you – especially if you know Java. I spent my Friday night trying to modify a program so that it would continually ask for certain information. It would not work. I tried everything. Being an inventive Capricorn, I finally just modified the program so that it would do everything it was supposed to do, except for the looping part. And I actually got an A on it (although I did lose points because I’m a looping failure). My problem is that I still can’t make the loop work and the instructor didn’t answer my questions. I will ask him again (because I’m persistent) but if anyone out there has a clue they could share with me, I would be very grateful. Email me at my gmail account.

I have another Cartman that I have to train to do Cartman’s job. I will think of a nickname for her, but if she doesn’t survive the training (and that is highly possible at this point), then she won’t need a name, will she? I’ve avoided this woman from the day I started with the company. She is such a wingnut that she makes me look normal. Cartman talked all the time and she was very loud, but Cartman could shut up while you were talking to her. This woman cannot stop talking. I talked about business and she asked me if I liked grilled cheese sandwiches.* I gave her crucial information and she told me she only likes American cheese.** She interrupted me so many times on Friday that Bosshole finally rescued me – but only after she got her laughter under control. Apparently, just before I commit homicide, I get a certain look on my face. Bosshole saw it and saved a life.

I keep telling myself that I will not only get through it but that I will find something good in the situation. I’m working different hours, which completely throws off my homework schedule; I’m working with the public, which drains me emotionally because of the effort it takes to remain pleasant in the face of such willful stupidity. The stress of doing Cartman’s job, not letting my job fall behind, training someone with the attention span of a gnat, and learning a new concept that comes with its own language, is finally getting to me.

All of that led to gaining 6 lbs, turning in half of a research paper and desperately wishing I were someone else, who has a different life and a different job and a cat that doesn’t hate me.

Once I have MotorMouth (should that be her nickname?) trained, I won’t have to do Cartman’s job and I will have my work schedule back. Once I finish these two classes (and one more), I won’t have to deal with homework anymore (for a while) and I can think about getting a new job.

4 out of 5 astrologers agree that this year is going to be incredible for Capricorns. The fifth astrologer is probably a Capricorn. We’re naturally contrary.

* Yes

** I like cheddar or swiss (or both) grilled cheese sandwiches – with tomato soup

*** Prince song