I spent last week catching up on homework so that I could go out of town for a few days. I’m not really caught up but at this point I can’t bring myself to care about it very much. I’ll pass the classes and that’s all I am interested in. The sizzlin’ vacation destination was Wichita, Kansas. It isn’t Hawaii. It’s Kansas. And that means it sucks by definition. Everything in Kansas sucks. In fact, if Kansas didn’t suck, Oklahoma would crash into Texas. I used to say that I always took a good book with me when I drove through Kansas. I’m not sure why people thought I was joking.

This time I was with MoC so I didn’t need a book because we had scintillating, invigorating conversation. I can’t quite remember what we discussed, but I’m pretty sure it was important. I had the opportunity to snap a couple pictures to illustrate why Kansas sucks.

The Big Empty

For one thing, there’s nothing in Kansas. Nothing. I’m surprised there is a paved road because no one travels on it. It doesn’t lead to anywhere interesting. There’s nothing to look at. There are cows. And that’s all.


If you zoom in on this, you can see cows. Lots of cows. I wanted to stop to count the cows, but MoC wouldn’t let me.

God is very concerned with the condition of Kansans’ souls. I saw four signs like this one. One said, Repent now or regret it FOREVER. I tried to get a picture of that one, but I missed. And I was unable to blow this one up enough so that it was readable. It said something like, “Righteousness is good for a country but bad for individuals.” Or maybe it was vice versa. All I really know is that if I don’t repent now I will regret it FOREVER.


When I got home, I found this on my neighbor’s side of the driveway.


Apparently it was too much work to put his car cover on the carΒ each night. And apparently he is too cheap to buy a carport – something that might actually increase the property value. I have a goddamn TENT in my driveway! I might feel differently if he had a Lexus or a hot sports car, but he drives a Pontiac Bonneville.

MMB thinks he’s a psychopath and I need to be on guard in case he suddenly gets offended at my dirty KIA and sets it on fire (to cleanse its foreign soul, of course). I think she might be right.

I’m scared.