, , ,

I’ve said I was going to change this blog and the way I approach writing it and what I talk about. Whatever possessed me to say such a thing? If you’ve been a faithful reader (yes, both of you), then you know I’ve been whining about a research paper. The paper is due tomorrow and no, it’s still not finished. The slideshow isn’t finished, either.

A friend of mine – let’s call her RB because I’m not feeling creative – called and asked me to have dinner with her and another friend – we’ll call her CL Other work friends of CL’s were going to be there, too. I agreed because I haven’t seen CL in years and I’ve not seen RB in months – and RB is moving to another state (let’s call it MN) in a few weeks. I’m sad about that. We didn’t hang out a lot, but we had so much fun when we did. I’ll miss her.

Even though I’m going to be up against the clock tomorrow trying to finish my homework, I decided to go to dinner. It was a much needed break. The other people were nice and CL brought her sister. They look so much alike – if they did their hair the same way and one took off her glasses, they could probably pass for twins. Or maybe not.

RB and I stayed and conversated after everyone left. I’d like to take this opportunity to point out that ‘conversated’ is not a word because A) I say so and B) it’s not in my dictionary and C) because Word just underlined it twice as a misspelled word. Word suggests conversed, converted or contrasted as alternatives. Ha! It’s true that I’ve complained that Word is worthless because the grammar program doesn’t find the most basic mistakes (I know, because I make them all the time), but conversated is such a horrible bastardization that even Word can’t ignore it.

Where was I? Oh. Yeah. RB and the conversating conversation. She’s married to a black man (she’s white), so I thought I could work in part of my homework assignment, which is to write a research paper about race relations in my community. She had some interesting observations.

When I told her that I didn’t really pay attention and didn’t notice racism, her response was, “Why should you? You don’t have to notice it because it doesn’t affect you.”

Hmmmm. That’s me, the one with her head in the sand. Don’t tread on me.

I’ve never dated an African American, but only because Halle Barry won’t call me. I have a habit of assuming that the rest of the world cares about the things that I think are important and ignores the things I don’t have any interest in. So, racism does not affect me and because it doesn’t affect me, I think it doesn’t exist. It shouldn’t exist – everyone can agree on that, theoretically.

You can’t help but notice skin color – it’s like hair color, you just see it. It’s there, but I don’t pay a lot of attention to it. It doesn’t matter to me. It’s not something I look for or think about. In my own way, I am very prejudiced. My prejudices are willful stupidity and/or lack of moral rectitude – things you can’t judge until the person says something. People can be incredibly hateful and nasty when they can hide behind a computer monitor. I’ve hated every moment of this class because it brought out my own prejudice – and it’s made me think about the fact that maybe I hate willful stupidity so much because at times I am willfully stupid.

No. It can’t be that simple. Surely I’m more complicated than that.