Crossings

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I love this picture. It’s not an original concept, but who who cares? For me it represents so many things. On the top layer, it is allowing my personality to step back and assess my thoughts and my new environment, without getting in my own way.  It is also a my inner self peeking out and taking small steps forward – because I want my inner self and my outer self to match more closely. It is walking across a bridge without knowing exactly what is on the other side. And finally, it’s just a cool picture, isn’t it?

I’ve been here almost 6 weeks. The ‘newness’ hasn’t worn off yet – and I wonder if it ever will. I hope it doesn’t, because I find something different each day to appreciate about this place. For the first time that I can ever remember, I am relaxed.  I neither know nor am concerned about what happens next.  There are things I need to do – finding a job is a priority – but I have no sense of urgency about it. I’m actively looking, but I know that the right job will actually find me.

Before I moved, I kept saying that I didn’t think there would be any problem living with MMB and I mostly believed that. There was a small part of me that wondered, though. We haven’t lived together in almost 40 years a really long time. We’ve both grown up and changed … but would we actually get along? There was really no way to know until it happened. In the last 6 weeks, I’ve found that the doubt – small as it was – was unfounded. And that’s such a relief!

We are more alike than I imagined. The differences aren’t a big deal because over the years, through no fault of our upbringing, we’ve learned how to communicate as adults. We’re shopping together and cooking together and we’ve discovered that we’re a pretty good team. I’m using the time I have now, before a job gets in the way, to explore the town and get to know MMB on a totally new (and pretty awesome) level.

I’ve crossed 50. I’ve crossed the country. I crossed that bridge after I took a picture of my shadow and I didn’t burn it behind me.

Things are definitely looking up.