Name that tune and you won’t win a prize, but you’ll get to feel superior – at least musically. A hint, it was not released within the last 20 years. Yes, I’m old. Get over it.

Guess what I forgot? The next chapter of Risk. No worries, it’s up over here now.  We’re more than halfway there and if you’re not reading, you should be.

This is what I’ve been reading.

Two 500+ page books to read, an 800 page flashcard/study guide and a skinny 300 page book of nothing but Cisco commands. Yeah, I’m a fun date.

Oh, look what a difference the flash (and a cat) makes.

Cool, what's this?

Cisco ain't for pussies

I’m on a standby list to take the ICND2 class (again)  next week – hopefully someone won’t show up and I’ll get a seat.  Or I could just get TRC to explain the intricacies of routing protocols to me.

But in the meantime I’m going to enjoy Thanksgiving tomorrow and try not to gain 40 lbs. Which ain’t easy to do if you’ve ever had MoC’s dressing. Or poppyseed bread. Yum.

I’ve decided there’s really no point in working myself up over the CCNA stuff anymore. I’m either going to pass or fail. I’ll study hard and learn as much as I can and then go for it. If I fail, the school pays for me to take it again and if I do fail, then I will know what to expect the next time.

And what if I don’t fail the exam? What if I don’t fail to find a decent job? What if I don’t fail to finish my degree? What if I don’t fail to succeed? HA. Think about that for a while.

I’ve been in panic mode for a while now (I’m sure you haven’t noticed). It’s boring. There is a bright side to everything. And despite the panic and fear, I do know this is all going to work out. If  I didn’t, I’d be back in insurance. It’s the middle part – after the decision to change something but before the actual change – that always tries to pull me under.  I’m a good swimmer, though. Well, probably not as good as I used to be, but guess what? … blubber floats. 

Despite the fact that my mother and I talk about poop all the time (which is really just a joke), we’re both kind of squeamish about bodily functions and fluids. I would never ever make it as a nurse.

Yesterday I tagged along with MoC to see my grandfather and to get him Mucinex. The first thing out of his mouth was about how he was congested and coughing up a bunch of mucus. In order to escape, MoC mentioned that we were going to lunch, when my grandfather grabbed a tissue, coughed and then held it out to her and said, “See? It’s clear. I guess green is bad, but this is clear.”

Fan. tastic. 

As we were leaving, MoC told me to shoot her if she ever got that way. So you are all my witnesses. When If I shoot her, it’s because she asked me to.  Because I’m sweet like that.

If you came for Unconscious Mutterings, I’ll put you out of your misery now – without resorting to bullet therapy. Here’s how it works. LunaNina comes up with the word prompts and you say the first thing that pops into your head. Don’t worry that we’ll make fun of you if what you say is silly – we’ll make fun of you either way. 

1. Marathon ::
2. Debt ::
3. Turn ::
4. Image ::
5. Sofa ::
6. Envelope ::
7. Cart ::
8. Process ::
9. Question ::
10. Rumor ::

1. Marathon :: nap
2. Debt :: or’s prison
3. Turn :: the beat around
4. Image :: is everything
5. Sofa :: King stupid
6. Envelope :: stuffer
7. Cart :: ography
8. Process :: of elimination
9. Question :: authority
10. Rumor :: has it

When I was a kid, my sisters and brother would antagonize me and I’d charge, like a little bull. Then they’d put their hand on my head and hold me away. I fell for it a lot and it always infuriated me and I’d fight even harder and they’d laugh even louder, which made me angrier, which made them laugh … it was a vicious circle. Until I learned to stop falling for it. I learned to stop showing them that they were getting to me. And I learned to fight dirty. I was the youngest and the smallest, I did what I had to do. A lot of that involved tattling. If I couldn’t beat them, I’d get them in trouble. We got older and my brother stopped trying to kill me, but it took my sisters longer to get the idea.

One day JR and I were at war (and it was always a full-scale war, never a minor skirmish) and she had me against the wall choking me. A few days earlier, she had fallen off a friend’s trampoline and had a big cut on her arm (she still has the scar). I stopped trying to pry her hands off my neck and I raised up and smashed her arm with everything I had – right on that wound. She howled and dropped me. I ran.  JR never touched me again.

I don’t remember what started that particular fight, but I’m sure I was not totally innocent. I was a scrappy kid and I had a big mouth. There was chaos in that house until I was 16, which is when everyone had moved out and I finally had a room to myself.

That temper burned out a long time ago. I don’t like chaos and I don’t like to fight anymore. A friendly debate is one thing, but you won’t find me in an argument these days. It takes too much energy and I’m lazy. In fact, some people think I’m a pushover. Bosshole, for example, walked on me. She did it because she got away with it – because I allowed it. I allowed it because it was the path of least resistance – because I just didn’t want to be bothered. If she had ever done something truly outrageous, I would have stood up to her but I don’t think she ever realized that.

I still have a spine. It’s still stainless steel. If you push me too far, I’ll whip it out and beat you senseless with it. You can push and push and I won’t react but when you cross that line, it’s over.

Cisco? You’ve crossed that line, bitch. I refuse to be intimidated. I refuse to back down. I will not quit. You will not get the best of me. You will not defeat me. You won’t make me cry and you won’t make me doubt myself. I don’t care if I flunk 100 practice tests – I will not fail when it counts. You can pose any trick question you want and I will know that the correct answer is always the Cisco answer. I ain’t your bitch, bitch.

Phoenix? You think you cram so much into 5 weeks that I will have to choose between getting a good grade with you and passing the Cisco exam? Really? Hi, Phoenix. I’m Determined.  And I’m smarter than that.

Did you think I’d crumble? Did you think I’d lay down and die? Oh no, not I.

You should have left me alone because now I’ve had it. You finally pissed me off and I’m about to kick both your asses.

It’s on.