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My father would have been 80 today. That just seems so weird to me because I can’t get a picture of it in my head, but also because that makes me older than dirt I feel.

After The Great Introspection that Bordered on Depression of 2012, I have remained quiet and still. I am reading a lot. I am listening to things that make me think, but that also give me hope and inspiration. Somewhere between the girl who lost her shit all over a Navy NCO* and the woman I am today, something clicked. Something shifted. Maybe I grew up. Maybe I just got old. Or maybe, just possibly, I have figured out a major key that is finally enabling my life to work on a different level.

Or not.

A few nights ago, I had to go to the grocery store and it was very crowded. I got what I needed and returned to my car to find it parked perfectly straight in the spot where I left it. Like this:  |

Next to it, someone had parked like this: \    So close to my bumper that I couldn’t get out.  Like this: \|     The good news is that car on the other side pulled out and left. So I put my car in reverse and … several people started walking behind my car. *sigh* I waited until they passed, started out again and a man driving an 80′s-ish Buick whips into the space beside me. Whip is maybe the wrong word because old Buicks are BOATS. I watched in my side mirror and thought he was going to take off the side of my car, but he barely missed. So I started out again. Only now he had decided to back up and straighten out. *sigh*

I looked to my left and the driver of this car \  had arrived – in the form of a teenage girl. Oh, Christ. I start to back out again and she starts at the same time. So I just motioned her to go because she wasn’t really paying attention anyway. She whipped out. I finally am able to get out of the parking space and turn the opposite way of the teenager. I went down another main aisle toward the street when I saw a silver flash out of the corner of my eye.

It was the teenager, who was now cutting across the parking lot and was about to T-bone my car. So I stopped. She waved me ahead but I didn’t trust her, so I just waved back. She waved again. At which point I said, “Jesus Christ!” and started to go. That’s when I noticed that she was yelling and flipping me off and generally losing her mind. So, being a calm and serene person, I slammed on the brakes and said something like “Are you fucking kidding me?” And she went nuts again and I saw her mouth “Come on!”

All of a sudden, the utter ridiculousness of the situation hit me. What was I gonna do, go kick her ass? I’ve never kicked anyone’s ass. Ever. Was I going to teach her how to drive? Or was I just going to make a fool of myself, make myself even angrier and accomplish nothing? I realized I was about to get into an argument with a teenager. It just struck me funny and I burst out laughing, still watching her mouth obscenities at me.

I shouldn’t have let any of it bother me. I wasn’t in a hurry; it wasn’t like I had ice cream that was melting, for God’s sake.

So I blew her a kiss and drove home laughing.

*If you don’t know that story, click the link. It’s pretty funny. Now.