I went to the grocery store today because I was out of everything. I figured if I went early, I would miss the crowds (wrong) and no one would piss me off (wrong again). I navigated the masses, got my stuff and found a checkout line. Then I realized I had left my “green” tote bags in the car. Great.
So the cashier asked me if plastic was okay. Yes, plastic is fine, let’s destroy the environment so I can get off this planet faster. We had this conversation as she rang up the last few items.
(Edit: Wednesday is the day senior citizens get a 10% discount off the bill)
Stupid Cow Cashier: Are you 55 or older?
Me: What?
I was so shocked I think my mouth was actually hanging open.
Stupid Insensitive Cow Cashier: Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t … I mean, I asked you because I didn’t ask a lady earlier because she didn’t look very old and…
Me: What??
Stupid Insensitve Cow Who Doesn’t Know When to Shut the Fuck Up Cashier: I didn’t mean you looked older, I just ask everyone who might …
Me: It’s okay. Really. It’s the hair. It happens all the time. No big deal.
So I left and called MoC because I figured she might get a laugh out of it.
Me: I have the question of the day.
MoC: Oh, good, because I finally have the answer.
Me: I was at Hy-Vee and …
MoC: Just now?
Me: Yes, I’m headed home.
MoC: I was just there. I’m putting my groceries away.
Me: The question of the day is: “Are you 55 or older?” OHMYGOD do I look 50, let alone 55? Do I even look 45??? What is wrong with people??
MoC: Oh, that’s hilarious …
Me: NO IT ISN’T!
MoC: I meant it’s hilarious that we were probably there at the same time.
Me: Oh. Yeah, that is kind of funny.
MoC: Was the girl youngish?
Me: She was at least my age, probably older.
MoC: I just wondered because the girl didn’t ask me if I wanted the discount. I had to ask her for it.
That’s it.
I quit.
Don’t worry…stupid insensitive cow’s day is coming…
EG – I hope her day is coming in the form of a Mac truck. Grrrr
Oh now come on…that is damn funny!!
Woops! I mean…she should be fired…immediately…stupid cow (and that is my expression – stealer!)
Still bloody funny
That stupid insensitive fucking COW.
I used to work at a place where we had to ask that. Mortifying. They wanted me to ask beforehand because they wanted the discount rung off of each individual item, instead of the total, for more accuracy or something. I said “Fuck that, I’m not embarrassing people!”
Penelope, I’m sorry. I’ll use “stupid bovine” from now on. It’s funny now … but I was really not amused at the time.
Annie, she just kept compounding it. She should have said, “I have to ask or I’ll get in trouble” and left it at that. But, like MoC pointed out, I bet she’ll never make that mistake again
“Why no, honey, I’m not over 55. Now can I ask you something? How does it feel to wake up every morning and know that your ‘career’ involves standing at a grocery store cash register, day after day?”. Fuck that shit.
Also, I am still appalled every time any guy around my age calls me “Ma’am.
ahahahahahahahahahah! You are so polite! I would have just … I don’ t know…
Lass, LOL I was so stunned that I couldn’t think of a good retort. I will remember yours, though, and use it next time. Because there will be a next time. *sigh* I really need to dye my hair.
Claudia … I basically just stood there with my jaw on the floor. I know I have a lot of gray hair, but I never thought it made me look “senior” ack!
I don’t know why, but this thought crossed my mind when I came to the end of the post.
What if your Mum was the woman your checkout girl DIDN’T ask “are you 55 or older”? Y’know the one she told you about when she was opening her mouth to change feet?
Now that, that would be hilarious!
This is probably the most hilarious thing I’ve read all week.
And, by that, I mean “Thank you.”
Kylie, that’s why MoC asked me how old the cashier was – her checkout girl was very young, I guess. I would never hear the end of it had it been the same girl. MoC gets all the breaks *sigh*
Stuck, bite me. And by that, I mean “You’re welcome”
I think it’s the cats. Cat people always get flack from humans because it’s nature evening itself out. You get love, affection, adoration and completeness from your cat, so the balance is you get young naive checkout girls overestimating your age.
Hmmmm, young naive checkout girls overestimating your age… that brings me back…
What?!?! That is hilariously ironic.
I’m 47 & got carded the other day for cigarettes – LOL.
*ducks & runs away*
whall, love? affection? adoration? Have you ever had a cat? LOL I’m sure it’s either the cat thing balancing out …. or I’m being punished for something I did in another life.
Erin, just wait ’til it happens to you. Heh. But … it is kinda funny.
Tug, thanks for playing. Run along now.
lol You’ll be the one (like my mother) complaining that you never get your discount unless you ask for it.
Ouch….!
But LMAO ROFLOL and LOL too!!! I am sorry, just friggin funny!
Dutch, it is funny. It would be funnier if it happened to someone else, though
Not to worry. I plan on getting rid of the gray this weekend