November is national novel writing month or NaNoWriMo. I’ve got a few stories kicking around in my head and since I haven’t done anything else with them, maybe I should pick one and see if I can write 50,000 words in 30 days. My excuse not to participate last year was school – but this November I’m only taking one class. I should have time to write without feeling pressured about school.
Fear is such a big part of my writing (or non-writing) that it will be good for me to give myself permission to write whatever comes into my head, no matter how crappy it is. Maybe the 30 day deadline will help me kick-start my courage and set myself back on a path that I will enjoy – regardless of the outcome. My first novel was never published and probably never will be published, but the days I spent writing were some of the happiest of my life. That’s what matters, isn’t it? More than how “good” the finished product is, the important thing is how it made me feel to do it.
Which reminds me of something else RW said that I meant to talk about and then forgot about it. There are lots of bloggers out there who take themselves way too seriously – and I am guilty of that sometimes, too. When someone points out that they’re talking (or typing) out their ass, they claim they blog for themselves, not for anyone else and anyone who doesn’t like it can kiss their ass.
His point was that … oh hell, I’m just going to quote him because it’s easier (and he’s a better writer than I am).
“RW’s Law Of the Endless Blog Topic” which states:
Bloggers will continue to write about slow drivers, periods, stupid neighbors and how old they are getting only so long as they are willing to defend such indefensible activity by saying “I blog for myself and if you don’t like it kiss my ass.”
Therefore the inverse would be true: (RW’s Corollary to the Law of the Endless Blog Topic): Blogs are interesting in proportion to the willingness of the blogger to admit they care about their audience.”
I guess I’m in the middle on this one. I started the blog as an outlet and as a way to express myself – about whatever I felt needed expressing. But if I didn’t care whether or not people read it (and liked it) I would not have put it online. I have a journal that I write in and a lot of the stuff there doesn’t make it here because it’s private and it’s for me and it’s none of your business.
The other day I wrote something that should have remained in my journal, but I posted it instead. And it confused people. I thought I was being cleverly vague while making a larger point, but even my main point was lost because of that lack of specificity. If I can’t be totally honest, if I can’t be specific, then it doesn’t belong on this blog.
So yeah … I care what you think. I want people to ‘get it’ and love it and come back. What I’ve struggled with lately is knowing that more and more people in my family are reading, which forces me to decide how much is enough … and how much is too much. Then it dawned on me that I really only have two secrets and my cousin told my entire family both secrets – because she could. It didn’t occur to her that one of those secrets was the single most painful, horrifying, traumatizing event in my life. Sharing it made her feel important, I guess.
I’m not funny enough or profound enough or political enough to sustain a blog that is not about me and my life. Protecting that one secret has done two things. It has kept me distant not only in my life, but on my own blog and reduced me to memes and quizzes and posts about bad drivers (but never, ever about my period, RW. Never). Second, it has kept me from reaching a level of honesty that would vastly improve my writing and my life (and therefore, my happiness). This is one more small step toward freedom and letting it all blow out into the stratosphere.
Oh, and the first secret is: I’m gay. Duh.
(Sorry, but I missed National Coming Out Day)
I had no idea you were gay. Thank God you finally got that lil’ secret outta the way.
I’ve been writing. It’s been weird because I’m editing and writing something that I wrote over four years ago. I can’t remember where I was going with it. I never take notes. Eh.
I love to blog and I love having an audience. There. I’ve said it. I mean, really, who doesn’t? That, “It’s just for me.” crap is baloney. If it was just for me, I would password protect it an not allow anyone to read it. Now, granted, I have password protected it but that was for a significant reason. Otherwise, I just put my ass out there and write.
Blogging is fun. Writing is fun. Work, is NOT fun.
That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.
N
Piano Man is one of my ALL-TIME favorite songs…seeing Billy sing that live with Elton John? damn.
THAT being said, I’m not a writer AT.ALL…just got into it for the fun & people, & yep, I’m a comment whore.
i want to say something totally relevant, and all i can come up with is “i’ve never posted about my period, slow drivers, my age or stupid neighbors.” so often, though, i don’t post at all instead of posting something that could be seen as my inflicting myself upon my few readers.
and being gay isn’t the painful, horrifying and traumatizing event, is it? because if so i think you have the definition wrong.
I feel the same. Even on blogs you can’t be 100% honest!
I’m thinking of doing NaNoWriMo for the same reason.
And it can definitely be difficult to find a good balance between blogging about your life and sharing information you don’t want to share. I know very few bloggers who do that successfully.
I couldn’t disagree more with the insinuation that everyone writes for an audience or to be praised or for other people. Web logging, is a convenient, fast, and easy way to get your thoughts down quickly and put them somewhere where others can read them IF THEY CHOOSE. If you’re out there advertising your blog or going to other blogs saying “Hey! Come see my blog!” then maybe I can see the point. But not everyone is an attention-whore who needs to be validated by anonymous comments on the web. I personally write for me. I like it when my family and friends read my stuff, because it lets them know me better when we can’t be together. Yes, I admit, I look forward to comments from people I don’t know, but mainly because I like the ideas that that type of interaction sparks in me, not because I want to be liked. I like to read other blogs and leave comments on them for the same reason. It’s kind of like networking for ideas instead of physical capital. I’ll steal a good idea and write about it in a heartbeat (of course, I’ll credit the originator). I have no reservations about saying that the only thing I am not honest about when I write is my name (I know, it’s a shock, my name is not cowboy). I don’t mean to come off as harsh, but it steams me when people assume that their motivations for doing something are the same as everybody else’s. Thank you for this post, and for giving me a chance to vent.
P.S. Hey! Come see my Blog!
Anyway the trick here isn’t what a person should or shouldn’t be doing… you can do anything you want.
I’m saying good blogs – like good writing – is generally accomplished by people who give a shit.
If a person doesn’t care if what they’re doing is good or not – OK by me. Thank God it’s still a free country. Knock yourself out.
I just think that people who put their stuff on a medium where millions of people can access it and then say “I do this for me” are doing so to insulate themselves from criticism. It sounds more like insecurity than exhibiting a strong character trait.
Plus – remember – the “Law of Endless Blog Topic” (and especially it’s inverse condition) were both done to chide bloggers I know could take it.
Beyond that – I haven’t seen anyone in this thread who has disproven the Law. Still looks axiomatic to me.
I guess we must agree to disagree, here. I have always felt that good writing is generally accomplished by those with a little writing ability, and a subject that they believe in. Unless you’re writing a how-to or self-help book, I feel that writing for an audience waters down the product.
I further think that you saying that your “Law of Endless Blog Topic” was “done to chide bloggers” you knew “could take it” while simultaneously defending its tenets reveals you to be insulating yourself behind humor as you accuse others of insulating themselves behind statements of indifference to criticism. It’s easy to say something was “just a joke” after it’s been shot full of holes.
I sincerely don’t mean to come in here, where you all know each other, and just start hating on you. It’s just that “write for your audience” has got to be the absolute worst piece of advice I ever got from an instructor. It just rubbed me the wrong way.
Thanks for the response
N: You do put yourself out there and write … and I love that. When I avoid topics here because I don’t want people to think less of me, then I lose my writing voice. Then I find myself trying to explain what I meant. When I close my eyes and take that leap of faith, some decent things happen on this blog ….
Tug: You still have a style (voice) that’s your own. That’s hard to do.
Kat: Silence is sometimes the best course and I should probably take that route more often. No, the big scary secret is not that I’m gay, silly.
Len: exactly. But maybe I use the term “honest” when “sincere” would fit better. I’m talking about the raw edges that happen when I write from an emotional, true place.
Avi: My life is kind of boring, actually. But I’m trying to get to a place where things are not “off limits” – at least in my own life. If it happened to me, I should not feel I can’t write about it.
Cowboy: Come on, man. Your family and friends are an audience, right?
The things that I write strictly for myself never see the light of this blog. I do use Blog Explosion to generate some traffic, but since I don’t have a lot of time to surf, I never have a lot of credits to use – so I can’t really be a traffic whore, more like a traffic slut lol I do want the people who come by here to say, “Hey, that’s not bad. I’d like to know/read more.” There’s nothing wrong with that, either.
RW: I agree with you. I do care what people think of my blog and I am completely insecure and refuse to accept criticism
(I really didn’t take it personally at all. I thought it was an interesting point of view).
Your post opened my eyes a little and helped me see some things that I’m doing here that don’t make me happy – as far as the blog is concerned. It made me want to change the way I approach this. And that’s a good thing. I think.
Cowboy: You know that I’m not RW, right? I’m Cap, this is my blog. He’s RW and I can’t figure out how to link to his blog in this comment
Cowboy, you’ve written for an audience twice in this thread and neither time was anything you said watered down.
I wasn’t insulating myself from anything by noting that I was chiding some people I knew and to suggest that’s where it is coming from is sort of a reach on your part. I’m pretty forthcoming about my opinions. But you have no way of knowing that, so no harm done.
You have every right to disagree with me. You’ve stated an opinion about the kind of writing you like. And it was written in a way someone other than yourself could understand it. And it wasn’t part of a self-help book. And that’s really cool!
But I’m a little unclear about some instructor you had? Did he/she abused you with what would normally appear to be well-intentioned advice that led you in the wrong direction?
If so, I’m sorry that happened to you. Outside of the rather muddled conclusion, most of your writing is excellent and doesn’t indicate you were bruised by it all that much.
I would ask you to clarify the last paragraph, but I wouldn’t want to impose a condition on your attempt to be understood or anything.
This was fun! Yes, I was abused by my writing instructor…. I can’t use a mechanical pencil to this day…
Cap: I know this is your blog, and I like it! This is where I was exposed to RW’s “Law” and so was where I reacted to it. I hope you don’t mind.
RW: What part of the last paragraph are you looking for clarification on? I was just apologizing because if somebody started busting my balls out of left field, I might be a little miffed. Obviously you have more restraint than I do (although your snarky commentary is not lost on me.)
I was reaching with the “insulating yourself” comment, but you must admit that it often happens in life that people say things they believe, realize that it might have been ill-advised, and so say “I was only teasing.”
When I say things get watered down by writing for an audience, I mean that if a writer thinks about what his audience will like or approve of while writing, he very likely won’t take the chances that I believe really good writing requires. Thinking about an audience muddies the creative waters, so to speak.
I suppose that after I write something creative (without ever considering my audience, mind you) I look at it and make sure that it is understandable, has decent grammar, etc. In that sense I too, think about my audience. I think my problem with The Law is the suggestion that we all crave approval. I am absolutely an opinionated person (can you tell?) and when I write something I think is good, it takes a LOT of negative criticism for me to reconsider. I am my own worst critic, always have been. I am an even harsher critic of my critics, though (the bastards).
When blogging, what I crave is not approval, it is the exchange of ideas. This is a perfect example and it has really stirred the creative juices. Thanks RW, and Cap!
-CTC
CTC: Come hang out any time. Just keep in mind that I really
craveprefer approval and adoration rather than in-depth discussions.dude, i so totally picked the wrong time to not be on-line. sheesh.
oh, and i’ve had to calm down my blogs significantly due to possible job sabatoge (not that i’m talking about my job – more that i’m supposed to be a good example and still love to curse) which is explained in the intro to my archives. people can be so very silly in their opinion-forming process.
You’re gay? That changes everything! Uh, wait, no it doesn’t.
I totally care what people think cuz most of the time, I want them to laugh, or see if they think about something the way I think about it. I don’t get very personal on my blog though, because it’s PRINTED for the world to see and certain things could come back and bite you on the ass. I have a big fear of that for good reason, so I really wouldn’t change that. If I only wrote “for myself”, I would write it in an anonymous notebook and keep it in a safe deposit box at a bank.