After reading my last post, my mother told me she was never going to say ‘fuck’ again. She lasted 90 minutes.
Someone cut her off in traffic and that was all it took – she hollered “Fuck!” before I even knew what happened.
When I talked to her later, I asked if she’d said it again. At first she said no, but then she admitted she had been playing poker and lost. “I might have said it then. It’s such a good word.” And, because she is so sweet and docile, it is an effective word for her. She only says it in the car … or playing poker … or when it rains and she doesn’t have her umbrella … or when a favorite television show is preempted by a Presidential Address … or on Saturdays … or when she has to go to the grocery store …
Personally, my favorite profanity is ‘God damn it.’ For the record, it is three full words with emphasis on a different word in the phrase depending on my mood when I’m saying it. When something startles me, such as someone cutting me off on the highway, it’s likely to sound like, “God damn it!” When I’m deeply frustrated and just howling at the moon (so to speak), it’s more like “God damn IIIIITTTTTTTTTTT” And when I lose a poker hand (or the entire tournament), it’s more “GOD damn it, you lucky bastard!” I’m sure I’m going to hell – I’ll try to save seats.
About a month ago, my mom and I were in the car and I was going to turn left across a divided highway. But I had to cross, then wait at another light for a green arrow. No sooner had the light turned green than some asshole came out of nowhere, flew around me, got in front of me and slammed on his brakes (because the second light was still red). My mother and I said, simultaneously, not looking at each other, with the exact same inflection and volume …”Well, fuuuuuck you.” They warned me I would turn into my mother. They said it was inevitable. I suppose it could be worse. I could have turned into someone else’s mother.
It’s official.
Fuck!
Swearing is very good while driving. It is called communicating with your fellow drivers.
It is not your fault that those stupid fuckwits can’t fucking drive and you need to tell them that, y’know.
My mother (who is probably saying ‘fuck’ somewhere right now) reads this blog. Please don’t encourage her by telling her it’s okay to swear at bad drivers
LOL
Eh … sorry?
But I swear most of the time when driving. The harshest word I use about other drivers is: “Tourist”
My best friend told me once, in the car of course, that I was never ever to call her tourist. She had heard me use that enough time to know what level of insult I meant.
Disclaimer: I might also have used additional swearword before and after the word tourist.
My best friend cannot stand old people (especially while driving) so she could be so funny sometimes.
[...] recounted a few other tales of MoC’s favorite word. Here’s another: MoC doesn’t like to [...]